


Method to the Madness

by kee



Series: JOB 'verse [3]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Character Bleed, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-17
Updated: 2012-03-17
Packaged: 2017-11-02 02:23:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kee/pseuds/kee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared knows it's not as easy as it looks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Method to the Madness

**Author's Note:**

> Timestamp for _just one breath_. Takes place before the main story. Based on a prompt from hansonsangel.

It’s a tired argument.

Jared thinks Jensen’s the better actor. Jensen disagrees. Loudly and at length, usually with a half-empty beer in his hand. Jared always just shakes his head. He’s not going to fight about it. It’s not false humility. Or any kind of humility, really. He knows he’s good. He works hard, he studies, and he’s getting better all the time. But Jensen – Jensen is a natural.

It’s not simply the way Jensen can bring the emotion or deliver a line. It’s in the quirk of his eyebrow or the tilt of his head. It’s the jaw muscle twitching just so, as Dean Winchester swallows his latest hurt down. Jensen inhabits his character fully; wears Dean like a second skin.

It looks effortless, but Jared knows better. He’s seen Jensen shaking in the aftermath of tough scene, watched him breath deeply, relaxed with him as he let go of all things Winchester on the exhale.

Jared knows what it costs Jen to be that good.

These days, they’re racing toward the end of Season Two. And it’s a big one. Unsure of renewal, Eric and the writers have pulled out all the stops. It’s one hit after another, and it’s taking its toll.

Jensen starts needing longer and longer to come down. More deep breaths, more time before his smile becomes his own. It makes Jared tired just to look at him. It makes Jared worry.

So he watches. He admires the skill and dedication. And he waits. 

If Jensen’s going to fall, Jared’s going to be there to catch him.

\+ | | + | | +

They film _What Is And What Should Never Be_ and it’s a total mindfuck. There’s Sam, and there’s Dean. But there is no Sam and Dean. Jared feels lost at sea, but that’s nothing compared to what Jensen’s got to be feeling, doing all the heavy lifting. The estrangement between the brothers bleeds a little into their friendship, not enough to damage, just enough to throw their equilibrium off.

There’s barely time to recover, then it’s on to part one of the finale. They spend most of the episode filming apart from each other, one short scene at the start, Sam dying in Dean’s arms for the big finish.

Jensen can’t meet Jared’s eyes for hours after.

Two nights later, dogs walked and put to bed, Jared flops onto his couch to read the script for part two. When he gets to Dean’s monologue, he has to put it down. They aren’t even words he’ll have to say, but they _hurt_.

He grabs his phone without thinking, ready to hit the button for Jensen’s cell. He catches the readout for the time and thinks better of it. It’s after midnight. If by some miracle Jensen is already asleep, Jared doesn’t want to wake him.

His eyes fall to the cover of the script in his lap: _All Hell Breaks Loose_. Yeah, that about covers it. He shakes off the sudden chill that runs through his body and goes to bed. Jared’s last thought before he falls asleep is that Jensen’s going to _kill_ that fucking scene.

So long as it doesn’t kill him first.

\+ | | + | | +

Kim clears the set of all but essential personnel. Jared stretches out on the stained mattress, finding his position from when they filmed his coverage. Jensen and Kim are speaking in low tones off to the side. Jared watches as Kim gives Jen’s shoulder a squeeze and Jensen moves to his mark. 

Jensen’s red-rimmed eyes meet Jared’s and Jared sees the pain that’s already filling them. When Jared had been struggling with motivation for his big scene in _Heart_ , Jensen had suggested picturing something bad happening to either Harley or Sadie. It had been painful as hell, but it had worked like a charm. Then Jensen had gone and stolen his scene. Asshole.

Jared wonders what Jensen is picturing now. Something tells him he may be better off not knowing.

Kim moves behind the camera and points a finger at Jared. “You. Play dead.” His voice softens as he looks to Jensen. “You ready?”

Jensen’s tone is utterly weary. “As I’ll ever be.”

Kim calls _action_. Jared closes his eyes.

\+ | | + | | +

They get it in three takes. Jensen burns through the first one, no inflection, just getting the words down. The rhythm starts to form for the second, the rise and fall of emotion, the slip into an unconscious drawl that only escapes when Jensen’s tired or hurting. 

The third is when he breaks open, and it’s beautiful.

If Jared could see Jensen, he knows he’d be bawling like a baby. It's hard enough just listening to his voice, to the pitch perfect portrayal of Dean’s pain and grief. If Jared had to watch him – 

The crash of the chair hitting the ground is ungodly loud. It takes every bit of training Jared has not to flinch. Jensen’s final shout of “What am I supposed to do?” has barely faded out when Kim says, “Cut.” There’s a pause that feels like fucking forever and then Jared hears the blessed _print_.

It’s done.

The crew is clapping as Jared finds his feet and moves to where Jensen is standing. Jen’s hunched over, palms on his knees, breathing fast and hard. Jared shoots a look at Kim who nods and starts clearing people away. Jared takes Jensen by the elbow with one hand and rights the chair with the other. He barely has to apply any pressure before Jensen is folding down on to the chair, still curled into himself.

Jared crouches until his face is even with the top of Jensen’s head. Part of him wants to get a look at Jensen’s face, part of him is scared of what he’ll see. He slides his hand on top of Jensen’s and waits patiently. He’s not disappointed. Jensen’s breathing gradually slows. When he turns his hand over beneath Jared’s, Jared clasps it tightly.

“You’re fine, Jen. You’re good.” Jensen shakes his head, face still hidden. Jared’s not talking about his skill as an actor, but that might actually be support Jensen’s willing to accept right now. “Seriously, man. You’re fucking incredible. I didn’t even have to see it to know it’s the best work you’ve done.”

Jensen raises bleary eyes. “That sucked.”

“That _rocked_.”

Jensen sighs. “Not what I meant.”

Jared reaches out and grips the back of Jensen’s neck. “I know what you meant.”

Jensen tilts his head back, resting solidly in Jared’s hand. “We done here?”

“Pretty sure. Yeah.” The production staff might disagree, but Jared’s getting Jensen the hell out of here. No matter what they think.

“Buy me a beer?”

“You bet. I’ll buy you a goddamn case.”

Jensen’s lips curve in a facsimile of his usual smile. “All right, then.”

Jared would never admit it, even under threat of death, but a smiling Jensen Ackles is pretty much his favorite thing ever. This, however, is a poor imitation of that. There’s no spark in his eyes, no crinkle at the corners. Jensen looks like everything hurts and Jared feels the ache of it echo through his own body.

He doesn’t know _why_ , but it’s totally unacceptable. Jensen’s in pain, and all Jared wants to do is take it away.

When Jensen moves to release Jared’s hand, Jared tugs hard instead, pulling Jensen up – out of the chair and straight into a bear hug.

Jensen is stiff at first, but one squeeze has him relaxing and then holding on just as tightly. Jensen’s head fits between Jared’s chin and shoulder.

Jensen _fits_.

When the truth of that realization slams into Jared, he squeezes Jensen harder in his shock. What the hell?

Jensen squeaks. He actually squeaks. “Dude. I can’t breath.” 

“Shut up. You love my hugs. My hugs are awesome.”

“Sure, they are.” Jensen’s chuckling into Jared’s shirt. And he’s not letting go.

“My hugs could bring world peace. My hugs could cure diseases.”

Jensen lifts his head and arches a brow. “Venereal diseases?”

Jared laughs out loud and Jensen joins in. Just like that, they’re back to normal.

Jared runs a hand down Jensen’s arm as he steps back and away. “You good?”

And _there’s_ the smile that lights up Jared’s world. “I am.”

Jared grins back. “Let’s go.”

There’s beer they need to be drinking and a tired argument they’ll most likely be having. 

Jared will worry about _whys_ and the _whats_ later.

 

_End_


End file.
